Detective artists not going up the wall

Detective artists not going up the wall

I received an email today from an artist friend I’ve not seen for a few months. It was nice to hear from her, and I was intrigued by her email, saying that she wasn’t sure if I would be interested in the fact that she went into a local  charity shop just before Christmas, and that they have a café next door to it. She had wanted to buy a chest of drawers in the window but it turned out to be far more than she was wanting to pay for it. She told the woman in the café that she was an artist and wanted it to store photos in. The woman told her that they might be willing to barter on it as they were looking for an artist to paint their wall. She had a think about it but has too much on at the moment, and then suddenly thought of me this morning hence the email. She sent me a link to the local paper that had an article about the shop opening last year and said that their head office is in Leicester. She couldn’t find the mobile number of the woman she spoke to though… but wondered if it might appeal to me.

Ok, it didn’t take me long to know that I would love to do that sort of work for them… but I didn’t have any contact details to ring anyone..

Turning detective, and with the invaluable help of Google, I searched for the charity, whose name I had, and found their head office in Leicester with an address and contact number.

Ringing the number I chatted to a very nice chap explaining that I was an artist friend of an artist who had been in their charity shop in the local town and apparently the woman in the shop had said that they were looking for an artist to paint their wall and that I didn’t have the number and could they give it to me. The chap warmly thanked me for interest, said he knew nothing about it but gave me the mobile number of the manager who would…

Ringing the woman manager I again explained that I was an artist friend of an artist who had been in the charity shop in the local town etc etc, and that their head office in Leicester had given me her number regarding the café wall they wanted painting by an artist… and that I was interested in knowing more about it… Acrylic paints 2

She went quiet when I finished explaining, and straight away told me that they have no money to pay anyone anything at the moment, and it seems the girl who spoke to my artist friend in the café just before Christmas was “in dreamland”, and she told me that she was sorry that I was wasting my time ringing her as they are a charity with no money. I easily replied that I was just happy to have the phone conversation to find that out, rather than waste her and my time if I’d actually driven over to the café to speak to her.

I emailed my friend and thanked her for thinking of me, but told her that the girl she spoke to regarding the painting job was being overly optimistic with the offer! And went on to say that if she knew of any more arty jobs that she didn’t want I am always happy to investigate them, and thanked her.



She emailed right back to say what a shame, and was glad that she didn’t go ahead then….no wonder they can’t get the wall done, she had thought it might be a little earner for me and was sorry it wasn’t and yes of course as ever I’ll keep you in mind.

Never mind, if you don’t ask you don’t find out, and the answer might have been yes…

The wall painting job was a dead end this time… but the next one might not be.


I've been an artist all of my life, and my paintings now hang on walls in Europe, USA and Canada. I'm working on getting them on the other continents! My wide range of artwork has been exhibited nearer to home in the East Midlands, with the Guild of Erotic Artists at Beaumont Hall Studios in Hertfordshire, and at "Erotica", Olympia, London. I have also been featured alongside my work in the Guild of Erotic Artists book (volume 2). I love to create dramatic interest in my pictures, whether it’s to paint an unusual landscape, or just to utilise dramatic lighting in my figure drawings or strong colour in my animal portraits. Delighting in the spontaneous tendencies of watercolour adds an interesting and distinctive look to my paintings, some of which are purposefully ambiguous, enabling the viewer to use their own interpretation of my artwork. I also love to hide images, and humour within my paintings, whether it’s a secret message, or an erotic couple hidden within a landscape, or even an erotic landscape where the couple are camouflaged as the features of the land itself. I am equally happy painting in oils, acrylics or watercolours and love to draw with pencil or ink. I have also developed the very effective method of drawing using white pencil on black card which creates dramatic pictures by just picking out where the light catches the body and leaving the rest of the image to the imagination, in darkness. I can also utilise many different styles, whether it is realistic, abstract, surrealistic, erotic, fantasy or camouflage art where something is hidden within the painting. I'm just passionate about my art, whatever I paint! But, it doesn't matter how many landscapes or pet portraits I paint, its always the erotic stuff that people are interested in! I started blogging to share some of the strange conversations I have with the people I meet. But its evolved into far more than that now.

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