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Joking apart

I was recently reminded of an erotic art joke and thought I’d share it with you……….

An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a long time. Every day, he was up early and worked late – bringing perfection with every stroke of his paint brush. As each day passed, he gained a better understanding of the female body and was able to really make his paintings shine.

After a month, the artist had become very weary from this non-stop effort and decided to take it easy for the day. Since his model had already shown up, he suggested they merely have a glass of wine and talk – since normally he preferred to do his painting in silence.

They talked for a few hours, getting to know each other better. Then as they were sipping their claret, the artist heard a car arriving outside. He jumped up and said, “Oh no! It’s my wife! Quick, take off your clothes!”

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And whilst I’m in the mood for joke telling……..

How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

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How many modern artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to throw bulbs against the wall, one to pile hundreds of them in a heap and spray-paint it orange, one to glue light bulbs to a cocker spaniel, and one to put a bulb in the socket and fill the room with light while all the critics and buyers are watching the fellow smashing the bulbs against the wall, the fellow with the spray-gun, and the cocker spaniel.

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How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to do it and one to say “Huh! My four-year old could’ve done that!”
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fish.

 πŸ™‚

I've been an artist all of my life, and my paintings now hang on walls in Europe, USA and Canada. I'm working on getting them on the other continents! My wide range of artwork has been exhibited nearer to home in the East Midlands, with the Guild of Erotic Artists at Beaumont Hall Studios in Hertfordshire, and at "Erotica", Olympia, London. I have also been featured alongside my work in the Guild of Erotic Artists book (volume 2). I love to create dramatic interest in my pictures, whether itÒ€ℒs to paint an unusual landscape, or just to utilise dramatic lighting in my figure drawings or strong colour in my animal portraits. Delighting in the spontaneous tendencies of watercolour adds an interesting and distinctive look to my paintings, some of which are purposefully ambiguous, enabling the viewer to use their own interpretation of my artwork. I also love to hide images, and humour within my paintings, whether itÒ€ℒs a secret message, or an erotic couple hidden within a landscape, or even an erotic landscape where the couple are camouflaged as the features of the land itself. I am equally happy painting in oils, acrylics or watercolours and love to draw with pencil or ink. I have also developed the very effective method of drawing using white pencil on black card which creates dramatic pictures by just picking out where the light catches the body and leaving the rest of the image to the imagination, in darkness. I can also utilise many different styles, whether it is realistic, abstract, surrealistic, erotic, fantasy or camouflage art where something is hidden within the painting. I'm just passionate about my art, whatever I paint! But, it doesn't matter how many landscapes or pet portraits I paint, its always the erotic stuff that people are interested in! I started blogging to share some of the strange conversations I have with the people I meet. But its evolved into far more than that now.

Comments (11)

  1. Anonymous
    Dec 29, 2009

    May be you should stick to painting .. on that you can improve, as for the jokes.. they're really bad!

  2. Jackie Adshead
    Dec 29, 2009

    Anonymous – that bad eh? πŸ™‚

  3. Anonymous
    Dec 29, 2009

    Ahuh ! Trust me, am not laughing πŸ™‚

  4. Jackie Adshead
    Dec 29, 2009

    Anonymous – ok – but you do seem to be smiling, so they're obviously not THAT bad! πŸ™‚

  5. Anonymous
    Dec 29, 2009

    OK so I hit the wrong expresion button, try this one then :-O.

  6. Jackie Adshead
    Dec 29, 2009

    Anonymous – Ok, but I'm not sure what that is – shocked? πŸ™‚

  7. Anonymous
    Dec 29, 2009

    Yeah .. shock ! Maybe if you just stick to playing with paint brushes… leave the jokes for the real comedians, the one's who actually make their audience laugh.

  8. Anonymous
    Dec 29, 2009

    :-O = SHOCKED!
    πŸ™‚ = SMILING!
    :)))) … THIS ONE'S OBVIOUS!
    %¬( PISSED OFF…
    :-# GIVING HEAD.
    :- P FLABBERGASTED
    SIMPLE REALLY !

  9. Jackie Adshead
    Dec 29, 2009

    Anonymous – thanks for the enlightenment! πŸ™‚

  10. Anonymous
    Dec 29, 2009

    Well it's ovious you needed help! Try this one then :[email protected] tongue tied!

  11. Jackie Adshead
    Dec 30, 2009

    Anonymous – ah…. but I don't know that one as tongue-tied – I know it as something else……… πŸ™‚

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