Car insurance isn’t all its geared up to be

My car insurance is due soonish, and because of that I’m getting extra emails from companies I am not in the slightest bit interested in offering me a better deal than I already have, which is quite amazing when they don’t actually know what I’m paying for my car insurance, or who its with. But I can save up to £261 apparently. Amazing. But I notice those little words “up to” and know it could be ooh, £1 they actually mean.

I am perfectly happy with the quote I’ve had, but like anyone else am interested in saving money, why wouldn’t I be?

So, last week when I got a call from a well known company who are connected with cars, but not necessarily someone I would consider buying car insurance from, I thought I’d find out if it was likely that they could save me some money like they were promising …..

“How long will this take?” I asked the woman at the other end of the phone.

Between five and ten minutes” she said.

“Oh, lets make it the five”, I said, knowing how busy I was.

“Ok, Name? Address? Date of birth? Car? Have you changed anything on the car? How long have you had the car? (what difference does that make?!) How many miles do you do in it? have you had any accidents in the last ten years? What were they? What happened?  Whose fault was it? Do you want anyone else on the car insurance? What are their names? What is their date of birth? What is the other drivers occupation? (Why??!!!!) Have they always lived in England? And if not where did they live? And when did they come back? So, are they English? (Yes, they were born in England, they have an English passport, they are English) But if they lived abroad they can’t be English she told me so we had a stupid disagreement on that one, since that was nonsense on her part. We got over that one, and she asked me what my job is – “Artist”, I said. She asked me where I worked and I said at home.  Then she wanted to know if I went to see clients, and my reply was “Sometimes, it depends” Well, do you expect to go to see clients this coming year? I don’t know, it depends. Will they be far away? I don’t know, it depends. How many do you expect to see? I don’t know, it depends! How many did you see last year? Not many, but that wasn’t a typical year. I sighed, and said “You’re not self employed are you?” silence at her end. And I tried, I really did,  to explain, that I don’t always know where I’m going to get work from, or where it will take me, or if all my clients will come to my house, or if I will do an art exhibition somewhere else in the country, or world, or how the artwork would be taken if I did (and its on separate art insurance anyway, either way!), I never know, because I’m self employed, and that’s how it works. But I’m pretty sure she was thinking “Silly bitch!” at her end…….


Fifteen minutes later, and much frustration on my part since my answers didn’t fit her questions, she went away to find my quote, which was well over £300 more than the price I’ve already got. “Too much!!” I said. “How much is your other one?” she asked. “None of your business, it doesn’t matter what the other quote is, just that your  price is well out, and if I tell you you’ll just match it, you’ve got to do better than that!”. “Ok then”, she said and dropped it by £210. Just like that. “Still TOOOO much” I said, and almost said “That’s taking the piss!” but managed not to, well, not out loud.

I've been an artist all of my life, and my paintings now hang on walls in Europe, USA and Canada. I'm working on getting them on the other continents! My wide range of artwork has been exhibited nearer to home in the East Midlands, with the Guild of Erotic Artists at Beaumont Hall Studios in Hertfordshire, and at "Erotica", Olympia, London. I have also been featured alongside my work in the Guild of Erotic Artists book (volume 2). I love to create dramatic interest in my pictures, whether it’s to paint an unusual landscape, or just to utilise dramatic lighting in my figure drawings or strong colour in my animal portraits. Delighting in the spontaneous tendencies of watercolour adds an interesting and distinctive look to my paintings, some of which are purposefully ambiguous, enabling the viewer to use their own interpretation of my artwork. I also love to hide images, and humour within my paintings, whether it’s a secret message, or an erotic couple hidden within a landscape, or even an erotic landscape where the couple are camouflaged as the features of the land itself. I am equally happy painting in oils, acrylics or watercolours and love to draw with pencil or ink. I have also developed the very effective method of drawing using white pencil on black card which creates dramatic pictures by just picking out where the light catches the body and leaving the rest of the image to the imagination, in darkness. I can also utilise many different styles, whether it is realistic, abstract, surrealistic, erotic, fantasy or camouflage art where something is hidden within the painting. I'm just passionate about my art, whatever I paint! But, it doesn't matter how many landscapes or pet portraits I paint, its always the erotic stuff that people are interested in! I started blogging to share some of the strange conversations I have with the people I meet. But its evolved into far more than that now.

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