When your legal advice says….

Because of this legal soap opera that I currently find myself in, it’s been decided to change to a better solicitor than the current one. Not that there’s anything wrong with the current one, its just that the new one specialises in conveyancing problems. They are used to dealing with the sort of problem that I currently have – where the Land Registry says that various parcels of land within the boundary of my garden, don’t belong in my name. But it did when I bought it, twenty years ago, so why doesn’t it NOWWWWW???!!!

This is what we’re trying to sort out. This is what is holding up me buying the house I want. The house, where I can be an artist, properly.

So, today I went to see the new solicitor in his offices up in South Yorkshire.
They’re noted for being blunt in Yorkshire.

I don’t mind blunt.

But, I must admit to being greatly amused by his comments that included the phrases “cock up” “balls up” and “The Land Registry are being anal” – because that is exactly how I think of it! A fucking mess!!!!

The meeting started at 3pm and went on til almost 5. It was a good meeting, a long one, but we got a lot done. We looked at maps. aerial photos, and discussed boundaries of the land and how established they were. We all felt that we were on the same wave length and talked of how long it would take to sort it out. A few weeks, hopefully.

Then I can buy the house I want. All being well.

But, just to add to the legal soap opera ….. I was informed this evening, that all the solicitors were in place this afternoon to exchange contracts on the properties in the chain.

All of them. Except one.

He was in a meeting.

In his offices, in South Yorkshire. Between 3 and 5. And he couldn’t be contacted.

So the contracts weren’t exchanged………

And guess who he was with……………………………………..


I've been an artist all of my life, and my paintings now hang on walls in Europe, USA and Canada. I'm working on getting them on the other continents! My wide range of artwork has been exhibited nearer to home in the East Midlands, with the Guild of Erotic Artists at Beaumont Hall Studios in Hertfordshire, and at "Erotica", Olympia, London. I have also been featured alongside my work in the Guild of Erotic Artists book (volume 2). I love to create dramatic interest in my pictures, whether it’s to paint an unusual landscape, or just to utilise dramatic lighting in my figure drawings or strong colour in my animal portraits. Delighting in the spontaneous tendencies of watercolour adds an interesting and distinctive look to my paintings, some of which are purposefully ambiguous, enabling the viewer to use their own interpretation of my artwork. I also love to hide images, and humour within my paintings, whether it’s a secret message, or an erotic couple hidden within a landscape, or even an erotic landscape where the couple are camouflaged as the features of the land itself. I am equally happy painting in oils, acrylics or watercolours and love to draw with pencil or ink. I have also developed the very effective method of drawing using white pencil on black card which creates dramatic pictures by just picking out where the light catches the body and leaving the rest of the image to the imagination, in darkness. I can also utilise many different styles, whether it is realistic, abstract, surrealistic, erotic, fantasy or camouflage art where something is hidden within the painting. I'm just passionate about my art, whatever I paint! But, it doesn't matter how many landscapes or pet portraits I paint, its always the erotic stuff that people are interested in! I started blogging to share some of the strange conversations I have with the people I meet. But its evolved into far more than that now.

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