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Artistic agonies should be burned with the angst

Dancing divaThis week I’ve been agonising over something. And It’s something I shouldn’t be agonising over at all. I’ve been an artist all my life and have painted some incredible paintings. And this week I’ve felt stuck and trapped,  and art shouldn’t be like that, certainly not my sort of art. It should be liberating and uplifting and fun, and I should want to be creating all the time.

Yesterday I had lunch with my good friend Stuart Haywood and his lovely wife. I’ve not seen them for a while and it was good to catch up and hear what they’ve been up to. I’ve done a lot of artwork for Stuart in the few years that I’ve known him, and I know how much of a positive change I’ve made to his life.  As we talked about their forthcoming holiday, gardening, people in our lives and the usual subjects over a leisurely lunch, I mentioned briefly my annoyance in myself for having put a lot of expectation into ONE thing happening and found out this week that it hadn’t. And realised as I said it that it sounded ridiculous. You can’t get caught up in the negativity of one thing, just because one thing didn’t go the way you wanted it to. We all get knockbacks. Its part of life.

Creativity and art should be fun. Art for art’s sake. Infact, its not the art that’s been the problem at all, it’s the place to sell it that I’ve been stuck on. Gallery, or online?  Or both? Or neither? And I’ve let myself become introverted over it, instead of flying high I’ve felt my wings have been clipped. Another persons water has momentarily extinguished my flame. But I shall nurture it, and let it burn bright again, fed by the air of success, creativity, talent, and a desire to communicate. Back in the flow that feeds my soul…….

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