Over the weekend I saw my best friend and it reminded me again how natural a good friendship should be. She and I chat easily about all subjects, and know when the other is being silly and making a daft comment to amuse the other, and when the time is to be serious and listen fully and comment accordingly. It is easy and natural and how a good friendship should be. She has the same relationship with my fella, and they both banter and tease the other, but they know, as do I, that they are very fond of each other and like each other a lot. Although to anyone listening to their conversation you’d think they were like an old married couple who can’t stand each other.
On Sunday morning my fella and I had a coffee and mince pie with two other couples who we consider good friends. The two couples have known each other far longer than we have known them, so when they sat back and started to reminice about past times with people we didn’t know, we were more than happy to sit back and let them. They have their shared experiences and I fully understand the pure joy in chatting about your past with someone who was there whilst you were drunk, at a party, sharing a good laugh at someones expense, or just having a great time. But we also have similar experiences with them, albeit of a more recent time. So when someone made a comment about something that sounded incredibly innocuous to an outsider we all knew exactly what he meant and laughed straight away. Its the joy of the in-jokes that makes the pleasure of laughing even better. But you can’t make laughter or the pleasure of being with friends work unless its natural. You can’t over power a conversation and make it your own. The pleasure of delightful conversation should be shared, the shock of a rude comment never offensive, the laughter from a joke, the banter between friends can’t be forced. As natural and flowing as a fast running river.