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If only they knew

We’d made the arrangement for today – for him to drop in for a cup of tea and a lively chat. I just wasn’t sure exactly what time it would be, so I texted him first thing to find out. He texted back a time, and then rang me later to say he had a puncture and had to borrow another car, to get to work, but would come over later.

All fine, all normal for me. For us.

I’ve drawn him a few times before, but not for a long while, whilst I sort out my life. And it’s good for me to have the practice session of life drawing, and although he originally thought he was just coming over for a cup of tea this time, (we’re both big tea imbibers!) he was more than happy to sit naked whilst I drew him, and we chatted about the usual mix of subjects. Some sexual, some not. We have a similar dry sense of humour, so there’s usually some laughter and comments to amuse us both with our meetings and the conversations flow in an easy and relaxed manner.

And all of this is perfectly normal, in my life.

He comes in, we sit and chat over a cup of tea, he takes all his clothes off, finds a pose we’re both happy with, we continue chatting, and listen to the background music, I draw, we chat, and hopefully at the end of it I have a drawing I’m happy with.

All normal, as I say.

Except, today, there were phone calls to deal with.

Because he had a puncture, he had to arrange for the tyre to be mended, for someone to come out to the car. But the tyre replacement company weren’t happy with the details he’d given them for the tyre – they thought the particular tyre shouldn’t be on his particular type of car. So they rang him back. So, he had to answer the call. So then he had to ring to ask someone to check that the tyre was the right one, which they confirmed it was. So then he had to ring the tyre company back to tell them.

All of this whilst he’s standing infront of me.

N A K E D.

But, they didn’t know that. THEY all presumed he was a business man in a dark business suit. And indeed, he had been before he got to my house. And got his kit off. For me to draw him and think of erotic art.

We resumed the session. He resumed the pose, I resumed drawing.

And then my house phone rang……..

“Excuse me Madam, but we are a market research company who are doing a survey for the local authority about people’s leisure time, and we wonder if we could ask you a few questions about how you enjoy spending your leisure time, would you be happy to answer those questions……………..?”

a big   P    A    U    S     E         from me.

“No. I wouldn’t”

And firmly put the phone down.

They just wouldn’t understand……………………………. 🙂

I've been an artist all of my life, and my paintings now hang on walls in Europe, USA and Canada. I'm working on getting them on the other continents! My wide range of artwork has been exhibited nearer to home in the East Midlands, with the Guild of Erotic Artists at Beaumont Hall Studios in Hertfordshire, and at "Erotica", Olympia, London. I have also been featured alongside my work in the Guild of Erotic Artists book (volume 2). I love to create dramatic interest in my pictures, whether it’s to paint an unusual landscape, or just to utilise dramatic lighting in my figure drawings or strong colour in my animal portraits. Delighting in the spontaneous tendencies of watercolour adds an interesting and distinctive look to my paintings, some of which are purposefully ambiguous, enabling the viewer to use their own interpretation of my artwork. I also love to hide images, and humour within my paintings, whether it’s a secret message, or an erotic couple hidden within a landscape, or even an erotic landscape where the couple are camouflaged as the features of the land itself. I am equally happy painting in oils, acrylics or watercolours and love to draw with pencil or ink. I have also developed the very effective method of drawing using white pencil on black card which creates dramatic pictures by just picking out where the light catches the body and leaving the rest of the image to the imagination, in darkness. I can also utilise many different styles, whether it is realistic, abstract, surrealistic, erotic, fantasy or camouflage art where something is hidden within the painting. I'm just passionate about my art, whatever I paint! But, it doesn't matter how many landscapes or pet portraits I paint, its always the erotic stuff that people are interested in! I started blogging to share some of the strange conversations I have with the people I meet. But its evolved into far more than that now.

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