Sometimes you build things up in your head. And when you get the chance to check them out properly, they aren’t what you expected. The disappointment sits heavily on your shoulders, and you wonder how you could have been so stupid to have expected things to be any different.
But, I like to look at things from all perspectives (ha, that was an artist joke!!).
I like to look at all angles, and face the good and bad in equal measure. But, I will always find the overall balance of good, because I am ever the practical optimist. But I know its not good to expect too much. Experience has shown me that……..
She was waiting for me, in the pub, where we had agreed to meet. She and her man. It was a large, busy pub, on a Saturday night. We walked in, my man and me, and stood at the bar, searching faces. But we were spotted first, and waved over. They stood to greet us, and we said our hellos before settling down at the table. I made a point of sitting opposite her. I wanted to look at her……
We talked, of mundane matters, and important things. We talked of people and places, of times past, and present, we talked about ourselves, and our passions, our shared interests, our wishes and desires, of good things and bad. We ate a meal, and drank, and talked, the four of us. But there were still so many questions to ask, so we moved on, and carried on the conversation afterwards back at the house over more wine and a more relaxed atmosphere…..
She was happy to pose for me, and touched at my request. She had presumed on our first, previous meeting, that I wasn’t serious about my desire to draw her. But I was. Absolutely, totally serious. When she understood that, she delightedly agreed that she would pose for me…….
All artists look for the muse, the one who will inspire and aid the creative spirit, the one that makes you want to pick up a brush and paint. The one that fills your waking hours, and sometimes your dreams too.
And this one scares me.
And excites me.
In equal measure.
I am excited by her beauty, her transluscent skin, her cascade of dark hair, her sensual mouth, her soft enigmatic dark eyes, her look of fragility, her innate sexiness, her full womanly body.
I am excited by all of that.
But I am scared.
Scared that I won’t do her justice. That I won’t be able to capture the image I see of her, in real life, and translate her beauty from a three dimensional living being, to a two dimensional flat drawing on paper.
But, I will …..try…………..