Even this last year with all its huge personal and difficult challenges doesn’t diminish it.
It’s still there. Safe inside. Not seen, not even aware of, not called for, no sign of it.
But its days like this that make me aware of its existence, of how powerful it is, within me.
The invite was innocuous enough – to come and view an art exhibition. It sounded intriguing, though, for its innovative ideas. The concept of an explosion of paint covering plasterboard. I’d not met the artist before, and he hadn’t met me – but we had a connection through my surname, and that had caused us to be aware of each others existence. So I went along, after his personal invite, with an open mind……
He greeted me warmly, and showed me the artwork and gallery. A lovely, open gallery full of light and space. He told me about his work, and showed me the different paintings there – he hadn’t painted them himself – but had organised the explosives expert to blow them up. Does that count as art? A few years ago I would have said a resounding “NO”. But as he explained the works, and what was involved, and about the different items imbedded in the paint, I could instantly see what he had done – he had created an explosion in a visual way, he had shown what it did, what it looked like, and what the split second of huge power and impact had created with texture and force, and colour within the paint. As I told him about my thoughts about it he said “You’re the first person to realise what I’m doing, what it’s about, what I’m trying to achieve” and I felt gratified for that. I explained to him about when I had visited Japan a couple of years ago, and went to Hiroshima, and visited the museum there, full of images of the A-bomb and its effect on the city, people, and surrounding environment, and I told him that his paintings reminded me of one instance where I had seen a set of stone steps from outside a bank in Hiroshima. Someone had been sitting on the steps waiting for the bank to open, on the day of the A bomb exploding, and his shadow was there, shown clearly on the stonework, a poignant echo of a living human being here one second, and gone the next. The art explosions reminded me of that…..and touched me in a way I hadn’t expected……
We had a lot to chat about, so decided to go and have a chat over a cup of tea – the conversation easy and flowing. His youth and lack of experience perfectly happy with my greater experience and older years. I think we both learnt a bit from the other, as we both talked about our art, about selling it, exhibiting it, creating it. And of course, we touched upon my “Fantasy Fannies” as he was intrigued with them, their bright colours, how I had created them, and what was involved in the creative process. But I had fully expected that he would be interested in them, as most young men would be.
But, by then I had learnt that he had produced a porno movie.
Its not every day that you meet a pornographic film maker. But then, perhaps its par for the course when you’re an Erotic Artist! 🙂
And that’s what I had seen within myself – through the fulfilling couple of hours of chat, through seeing the exploding paintings and understanding them, through talking about making arty porno films, through chatting with another artist, through explaining to someone who doesn’t know me who I am and what I do, through talking about the life of an artist, and all that it entails. I had seen ………………myself.