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How can one little word do SO much damage

This is my 222nd blog post! A pretty number, I think………… if you can have pretty numbers! LOL

I saw the bride and groom over the weekend. It was good to see them again, as the last time was on their actual wedding day. Two years ago. My wedding present to them at that time, was a painting. *Any* painting of their choice. Erotic or non erotic. Landscape, portrait, watercolours oils, fantasy fanny and willie, anything! Up until this weekend they had not made a decision, and I was beginning to think they never would. Everytime I saw the brides parents, which is very often as they are good friends of mine, I would ask if they had made a decision, and the answer was always “No, not yet!”. Ok. I’ll just quietly forget about it then, although I was looking forward to painting whatever they wanted……………

But now, they have made the decision! Fanfare of trumpets in the background, and bring on the dancing girls!, YAY! And they were able to tell me and show me at the weekend. Lovely. They want a landscape of a place that is very special to them, and which I have also been to and love almost as much as they do. Its a small quiet village in rural France and they want a view of it, done in traditional watercolours. Ok, no problem. The scene is taken from a high vantage point, there will be the tiny village in the valley below with the mountains behind, and some sky. Nice picture. And as we discussed sizes, styles, colours etc I asked nonchalantly if they wanted any secret messages put within the painting – an erotic couple, or something that was special to them, to make it especially their painting. They thought for a bit, and decided that the best thing to put in would be their initials. Good idea. Ah, but here lies the problem………………….. They had the same problem with their wedding invites. Their initials are “M” and “S” and the bride said to her mother at the time of sorting out the wedding invites “Well, we CAN’T have “M and S” entwined on the front of the invites. “No”, agreed her mother, as anyone in England would think of the shop”Marks and Spencer”. “And we CERTAINLY can’t have “S and M!!!!!!!” said the bride to be. “Why ever not?” asked her mother. Pause from the daughter………..who then found herself explaining to her mother what “S and M” stood for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her mother listened in disbelief, and said “I’m going to ask your father if he’s heard of it………” and went off in search of her husband! As the bride told me this tale on Sunday (whilst her mother was out of the room!) I was laughing my socks off!!!! Ok, then, we’ll make it an “S” and we’ll have an “M” somewhere else in the painting and no “&”……………………..ANYWHERE!!!!!! LMAO

I've been an artist all of my life, and my paintings now hang on walls in Europe, USA and Canada. I'm working on getting them on the other continents! My wide range of artwork has been exhibited nearer to home in the East Midlands, with the Guild of Erotic Artists at Beaumont Hall Studios in Hertfordshire, and at "Erotica", Olympia, London. I have also been featured alongside my work in the Guild of Erotic Artists book (volume 2). I love to create dramatic interest in my pictures, whether it’s to paint an unusual landscape, or just to utilise dramatic lighting in my figure drawings or strong colour in my animal portraits. Delighting in the spontaneous tendencies of watercolour adds an interesting and distinctive look to my paintings, some of which are purposefully ambiguous, enabling the viewer to use their own interpretation of my artwork. I also love to hide images, and humour within my paintings, whether it’s a secret message, or an erotic couple hidden within a landscape, or even an erotic landscape where the couple are camouflaged as the features of the land itself. I am equally happy painting in oils, acrylics or watercolours and love to draw with pencil or ink. I have also developed the very effective method of drawing using white pencil on black card which creates dramatic pictures by just picking out where the light catches the body and leaving the rest of the image to the imagination, in darkness. I can also utilise many different styles, whether it is realistic, abstract, surrealistic, erotic, fantasy or camouflage art where something is hidden within the painting. I'm just passionate about my art, whatever I paint! But, it doesn't matter how many landscapes or pet portraits I paint, its always the erotic stuff that people are interested in! I started blogging to share some of the strange conversations I have with the people I meet. But its evolved into far more than that now.

Comments (8)

  1. nitebyrd
    Apr 14, 2009

    Thank you for a much needed laugh this morning! Hysterical!

  2. Jackie Adshead
    Apr 14, 2009

    Nitebyrd – My pleasure, it greatly amused me too!!! 🙂

  3. Spiky Zora Jones
    Apr 14, 2009

    ha…that is so funny. I can’t iomagine having to explain anything sexual to mother. And S and m would be one I would not explain well without a contantly interrupting it with giggles.

    heheheh…ciao honey and thanks for the laugh.

  4. Fitzy
    Apr 14, 2009

    That certainly was a great post and very fitting for your 222nd entry.

    They will certainly be getting a lovely wedding present, if a little late due to them being unable to make up their minds!

    In keeping with their initials and in my best Irish accent (although trying to sound like Dervla Kirwan will be beyond me!), they will be getting not just a landscape painting, but a landscape painting painted by Jackie Adshead, the foremost erotic artist!

    I am sure they will love the painting and it helps that you have also been there, although this could be a great excuse for a return visit! lol

  5. Jackie Adshead
    Apr 15, 2009

    Spiky – Yes, its difficult to explain to the uninitiated, and more so to your mother!!! Glad it amused you!

  6. Jackie Adshead
    Apr 15, 2009

    Fitzy – Thankyou, I hope they are pleased with their wedding present when they get it. Aw, thanks, its nice to be thought of as the “foremost erotic artist”!

    And yes, it’ll be more special to them as they know the place so well, and I would be delighted to return there in the not too distant future………

  7. Indigo
    Apr 15, 2009

    O.M.G!! Still laughing my socks off Jackie! That’s f*ckin hilarious!!!!

  8. Jackie Adshead
    Apr 15, 2009

    Indigo – Yeh, I thought so!!! 🙂

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